Recently, I started thinking about something that I've only seen discussed a little in blogs. How would you respond to the the following? (Reverse gender and references as required if you are a man who receives spankings. I am a woman who is spanked, so I write from my point of view.)
- Do you enjoy imagining your husband or boyfriend spanking you (fantasy)?
- Do you enjoy reading about someone being spanked (erotica)?
- Do you enjoy watching someone take a spanking (videos)?
- Do you enjoy getting a spanking yourself (real life, erotic)?
- Do you enjoy getting a spanking yourself (real life, discipline or punishment)?
What I’d like to know is whether the women who like getting
a real-life spanking also enjoy other types of spanking experiences. Many women
in domestic discipline relationships say they don’t like the spanking and have
never had a spanking fantasy in their lives.
Do the women who DO NOT like getting a real-life spanking happen
to enjoy fantasy or erotica?
For me, I would describe my enjoyment of the options as
follows:
(1) Sometimes when we are in bed or when I am just sitting
around, I enjoy thinking that my boyfriend is preparing to spank me or spanking
me. Since he is reluctant to do the real thing on a regular basis, the
fantasies fill a void for me. The fantasies are sexually exciting for me. Years
ago I read several of Nancy Friday’s books, and the stories she related of real
women’s sexual fantasies were fascinating to me. (For the record, I identified with
the spanking fantasies she included, but some of the other themes left me cold.
A rape fantasy - seriously?. If you haven’t read her books, they were a bit dated
even when I read those books decades ago, but they are intriguing nonetheless.)
Bottom line, spanking fantasies are good (no pun intended).
(2) Reading spanking erotica can be exciting, if the short
story is not too silly (English manor houses and female characters with ridiculously
long, romantic names). I like short spanking fiction (maybe 2500 -3500 words??)
set in relatively modern times (1940s to now) with a realistic spanking. The
problem with looking for and reading spanking erotica is that so much of it
“misses the mark” for me. I read a paragraph and decide I don’t like the style
and move on to look for something else. After coming up empty when reading
through a spanking library a few years ago, I decided to write up my own story.
It was fun, and I was quite pleased with the result. It was just right – for me
– because I wrote exactly what I liked!
The bottom line is that spanking erotica is yet another path to something very
similar to #1 above. (Note: I shared them with two or three men who are
interested in spanking fiction and real life stories, and they all loved the
stories and encouraged me to publish them. I looked for publishers, but then
lost interest before submitting any of the stories.
(3) Watching someone else in a video. Sometimes I enjoy watching
a mild spanking video instead of getting a spanking. (There are times when I
enjoy that; I think, “Let her take
the spanking!” – and I get the good
fantasy feelings!) I know many people would consider this “p-rn”, and I don’t
know what I really think of it. According to the Legal Dictionary (http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/pornography),
at one time the US Supreme Court proposed the “Roth test” for determining if a
work is p-rnogr-phy. The Roth test for obscenity is "whether
to the average person, applying contemporary community standards, the
dominant theme of the material taken as a whole appeals to a prurient [lewd or
lustful] interest." Although the Legal dictionary notes, “the Roth test proved difficult to use because every
term in it eluded a conclusive definition”, most spanking videos could be said
to appeal to prurient interest. But, I am getting away from the point here,
which is that I would enjoy a relatively tasteful spanking video, if there is
such a thing. Hence, watching a video is
basically a means to a fantasy (see #1 above).
(4) Getting a real spanking for erotic purposes. This is
always fun for me. I like the “zing” of each smack, on a physical level. I
never think, “Ugh, he’s hitting me again.” However, these erotic spankings are
never “enough” for me. They are like an hors d'oeuvre or, literally, the first
course – ok as a little addition to lovemaking, but not very filling.
(5) Getting a real spanking for discipline or punishment. I’ve
only had some “role-play” discipline spankings. Although it would seem to be my
ultimate goal to get a real spanking, I often question whether this is what I
want or need. I enjoy seeing and handling the wood paddle that we have. I enjoy
thinking that my boyfriend will give me a serious spanking in the next few
hours. However, when the time comes and he is applying that paddle to my
backside over and over, I don’t know whether I enjoy the spanking or not. I
struggle a bit to “get through it” (as we all seem to say), but is it something
I enjoy? My answer would be “no”,
although I love the aftereffects of closeness and respect that I feel for him. The
feelings seem to result from the thrill of surviving a difficult experience. I
don’t yet know if I would enjoy the spanking or the aftereffects if I wasn’t in
the mood for it. So far, each spanking has occurred when I wanted one or was at
least willing to get one. Only once
was I even slightly surprised, and even then, I easily agreed to go over his
knee because I see it as a positive experience (and I knew it wouldn’t be a
long ordeal as it was already late at night). I don’t know how I would feel if
he were more interested in spanking than I am. I think I would not like that and would ultimately break
up with someone who consistently wanted to spank me more than I wanted it or
had very different ideas about the style or intensity of the spankings he
delivered. That is, unless we had a clear domestic discipline arrangement and I
eventually agreed that the spanking was just and fair, in which case the
problem was simply that I was having trouble adjusting to the idea that I needed
to submit to a spanking.
Well, this has been a long post. The choices here still come
down to the question of whether I want this in fantasy (1, 2, or 3) or reality
(4 or 5). Number 4 is fun and light, so I know I like it. But do I really want
Number 5? I don’t know whether I will know the answer to that question until I’ve
tried this and perhaps crossed over from my comfort zone a few times. What do
you think? Do you like any or all of the choices?
