tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34026393894952791772024-03-07T21:11:37.417-08:00Starting Out ... With SpankingJennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-33358117987080341492013-03-21T21:54:00.002-07:002013-03-21T21:55:13.735-07:00Fantasy or Reality: A More Careful Treatment<br />
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Recently, I started thinking about something that I've only seen discussed a little in blogs. How would you respond to the the following? (Reverse gender and references as required if you are a man who receives spankings. I am a woman who is spanked, so I write from my point of view.)</div>
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<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Do you enjoy imagining your husband or boyfriend
spanking you (fantasy)?</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Do you enjoy reading about someone being spanked
(erotica)?</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Do you enjoy watching someone take a spanking
(videos)?</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Do you enjoy getting a spanking yourself (real
life, erotic)?</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Do you enjoy getting a spanking yourself (real
life, discipline or punishment)?</span></li>
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What I’d like to know is whether the women who like getting
a real-life spanking also enjoy other types of spanking experiences. Many women
in domestic discipline relationships say they don’t like the spanking and have
never had a spanking fantasy in their lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Do the women who DO NOT like getting a real-life spanking happen
to enjoy fantasy or erotica? <o:p></o:p></div>
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For me, I would describe my enjoyment of the options as
follows:<o:p></o:p></div>
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(1) Sometimes when we are in bed or when I am just sitting
around, I enjoy thinking that my boyfriend is preparing to spank me or spanking
me. Since he is reluctant to do the real thing on a regular basis, the
fantasies fill a void for me. The fantasies are sexually exciting for me. Years
ago I read several of Nancy Friday’s books, and the stories she related of real
women’s sexual fantasies were fascinating to me. (For the record, I identified with
the spanking fantasies she included, but some of the other themes left me cold.
A rape fantasy - seriously?. If you haven’t read her books, they were a bit dated
even when I read those books decades ago, but they are intriguing nonetheless.)
<i>Bottom line,</i> <i>spanking fantasies are good (no pun intended).<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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(2) Reading spanking erotica can be exciting, if the short
story is not too silly (English manor houses and female characters with ridiculously
long, romantic names). I like short spanking fiction (maybe 2500 -3500 words??)
set in relatively modern times (1940s to now) with a realistic spanking. The
problem with looking for and reading spanking erotica is that so much of it
“misses the mark” for me. I read a paragraph and decide I don’t like the style
and move on to look for something else. After coming up empty when reading
through a spanking library a few years ago, I decided to write up my own story.
It was fun, and I was quite pleased with the result. It was just right – for me
– because I wrote exactly what I liked!<i>
The bottom line is that spanking erotica is yet another path to something very
similar to #1 above.</i> (Note: I shared them with two or three men who are
interested in spanking fiction and real life stories, and they all loved the
stories and encouraged me to publish them. I looked for publishers, but then
lost interest before submitting any of the stories.<o:p></o:p></div>
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(3) Watching someone else in a video. Sometimes I enjoy watching
a mild spanking video instead of getting a spanking. (There are times when I
enjoy that; I think, “Let <i>her</i> take
the spanking!” – and <i>I</i> get the good
fantasy feelings!) I know many people would consider this “p-rn”, and I don’t
know what I really think of it. According to the Legal Dictionary (<a href="http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/pornography">http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/pornography</a>),
at one time the US Supreme Court proposed the “Roth test” for determining if a
work is p-rnogr-phy. <span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">The<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><i>Roth</i><span class="apple-converted-space"> test for obscenity is "whether
to the average </span>person, <a href="http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/" title="Click to Continue > by Browse to Save"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">applying</span></a> contemporary community standards, the
dominant theme of the material taken as a whole appeals to a prurient [lewd or
lustful] interest." Although the Legal dictionary notes, “the Roth test proved difficult to use because every
term in it eluded a conclusive definition”, most spanking videos could be said
to appeal to prurient interest. But, I am getting away from the point here,
which is that I would enjoy a relatively tasteful spanking video, if there is
such a thing. <i>Hence, watching a video is
basically a means to a fantasy (see #1 above).<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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(4) Getting a real spanking for erotic purposes. This is
always fun for me. I like the “zing” of each smack, on a physical level. I
never think, “Ugh, he’s hitting me again.” However, these erotic spankings are
never “enough” for me. They are like an hors d'oeuvre or, literally, the first
course – ok as a little addition to lovemaking, but not very filling.<o:p></o:p></div>
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(5) Getting a real spanking for discipline or punishment. I’ve
only had some “role-play” discipline spankings. Although it would seem to be my
ultimate goal to get a real spanking, I often question whether this is what I
want or need. I enjoy seeing and handling the wood paddle that we have. I enjoy
thinking that my boyfriend will give me a serious spanking in the next few
hours. However, when the time comes and he is applying that paddle to my
backside over and over, I don’t know whether I enjoy the spanking or not. I
struggle a bit to “get through it” (as we all seem to say), but is it something
I <i>enjoy</i>? My answer would be “no”,
although I love the aftereffects of closeness and respect that I feel for him. The
feelings seem to result from the thrill of surviving a difficult experience. I
don’t yet know if I would enjoy the spanking or the aftereffects if I wasn’t in
the mood for it. So far, each spanking has occurred when I wanted one or was at
least <i>willing</i> to get one. Only once
was I even slightly surprised, and even then, I easily agreed to go over his
knee because I see it as a positive experience (and I knew it wouldn’t be a
long ordeal as it was already late at night). I don’t know how I would feel if
he were more interested in spanking than I am. I think I would <i>not</i> like that and would ultimately break
up with someone who consistently wanted to spank me more than I wanted it or
had very different ideas about the style or intensity of the spankings he
delivered. That is, unless we had a clear domestic discipline arrangement and I
eventually agreed that the spanking was just and fair, in which case the
problem was simply that I was having trouble adjusting to the idea that I needed
to submit to a spanking.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Well, this has been a long post. The choices here still come
down to the question of whether I want this in fantasy (1, 2, or 3) or reality
(4 or 5). Number 4 is fun and light, so I know I like it. But do I really want
Number 5? I don’t know whether I will know the answer to that question until I’ve
tried this and perhaps crossed over from my comfort zone a few times. What do
you think? Do you like any or all of the choices?<o:p></o:p></div>
Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-74034228198593334002013-02-17T18:22:00.001-08:002013-02-17T18:22:58.781-08:00A Valentine's BeltI bought M a casual leather belt for Valentine's Day. (Actually, I bought him two because the second one was 50% off.) I liked the idea of giving him a leather belt for Valentine's Day because (1) he needs one, and (2) he may eventually spank me with it. It gave me a little thrill to think, "He may spank me with this thing" as I mulled the selections at the store. A belt is a very personal gift, and I liked that for a Valentine's Day gift.<br />
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We gave each other accessories for V Day. I knew he was going to give me earrings because I sent him a link with appropriate selections to help him out. (He needs a little help with gift ideas and doesn't mind such obvious hints.) After I had sent him the link, I decided to get him some sort of clothing accessory, too. The belt was the perfect idea. His gift to me will make me prettier - and all girls love that. My gift to him will make him manlier - and I love that, too!<br />
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I just love the idea that one day he will order me to my room and say, "Pants down", as he rips the belt from its loops. He presses on my lower back after he quickly folds the belt. "Stay still now." Then, ten to twenty fast spanks across my bottom as punishment for some minor infraction.<br />
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Mmmmm... a girl can dream, can't she?Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-24376734691396714192013-02-02T19:45:00.002-08:002013-02-02T19:45:47.707-08:00Happy Birthday Spanking<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
M gave me <u>his</u> birthday spanking on Thursday night! When I got my first adult birthday spanking last November, we agreed that I would get <i>all </i>the birthday spankings in our relationship. I was fine with that.</div>
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In the past week, I thought a lot about the birthday spanking to come. Should it be fun or intense? I think that most adult birthday spankings are designed as fun in one way or another. Either as silliness (a few slaps from your sister on your clothed bottom) or as one to three "hard as I can" paddle swats that make all the observers laugh at the birthday boy's reaction. I don't like the idea of a silly or half-hearted spanking. I decided that in our relationship, birthday spankings would be like all the rest - serious and real.</div>
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His birthday was coming up Friday. Due to circumstances out of our control, we would not be together that night, so earlier in the week we had planned the spanking for Thursday night. As Thursday evening wore on and no mention was made of the upcoming spanking, I thought he had forgotten. However, as we were going to bed, he opened the drawer where he keeps the paddle, etc., and said that we had some business to attend to. I was lying in bed. I didn't have any feelings of dread, but I <i>was </i>a little surprised. I had planned to mention the spanking as we went to sleep and to suggest that we have it on Sunday. But since he remembered and was willing, I went along. He sat on the side of the bed. I stood near him and started to go over his leg when I stopped myself and reminded him that he is supposed to tell me to get into position when he is ready. He said, "Assume the position." He giggled a bit with that. I think he covers up his discomfort with giggles. First, he gave me a hand spanking (about 40 or so), then 40 firm strikes with the round <span class="il" style="background-color: #ffffcc;">leather</span> paddle and about 20 with the wooden paddle, alternating cheeks. He wanted to stop then because he said I was getting very red. I didn't want him to stop. I said, "How about just a few more, hard and fast?" He agreed, and did just that. Maybe that group ended up being about 20 or so (no pun intended). This "hard and fast" set is what I need to get the full effect of the spanking. All the other spanks are just buildup. I may have gasped and moaned a bit, but I wasn't anywhere near tears.</div>
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I told him that hard and fast set is like the "exclamation point" on the whole experience. My bottom was very warm afterwards, and I liked feeling it as I cupped my bottom with my hands. (Crazy, isn't it??) After we made love, my bottom was only slightly warm and not very pink. The next day my skin felt a little tender and sort of itchy as I sat at my desk, but I had no deep aches. </div>
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Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-68382788505362619432013-01-28T20:40:00.003-08:002013-02-17T18:33:54.986-08:00A Spanking Makes Me HappyAfter some overwhelming personal events that started in mid-November, mostly concerning a very good friend of mine, I was in no mood for spanking for several weeks. Luckily for me, I am always the one who brings up the topic to my boyfriend. When I didn't bring it up for all those weeks, M didn't bring it up either. (He was out of town for the first five weeks or so after the problems started.)<br />
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I wondered for a while whether I would ever again be interested in having my backside hit with a paddle. I had no taste at all for writing, reading, or watching anything related to spanking. It seemed to be a bit too kinky and too much like an assault on me at a time when I was in a very fragile state. If he had been in town, I might have enjoyed a nice hand spanking after a couple of weeks, but only in a nurturing kind of way. At that point, there was no way I could bend over for a session with the wooden paddle or cane.<br />
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Another month or so passed after he returned and still I had no interest in spanking. The toys are always out of sight so there were no daily reminders of spanking. We had fun just spending time together again after our time apart. The holidays kept us busy, and then we rested. Other chores kept us busy through last week. On Saturday, finally, I felt like I had turned a corner. I needed - and wanted - a spanking!<br />
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On Sunday, as we were going to bed - a little early so that we could fool around - I asked him whether I deserved a spanking. It's always so hard to spit out those words, but I can't really expect him to read my mind. Once I push out the first word of that question, it gets easier. He replied that, yes, I had been sassy in the kitchen and at other times in the past week or so. We discussed where to do it (our usual spot was crowded with his things). We agreed upon a substitute location in the bedroom. He said that he would get out the paddle. I moved to the new spot. He brought the paddle and sat on the side of the bed. I stood near him. I told him that I felt sort of silly. He asked if I was ready to "assume the position", and then he giggled. I asked if he thought this was funny. I think he laughs because he doesn't (yet) share a love of spanking, and it makes him a little uncomfortable to order me into position. I have told him in the past that he has to tell me what to do at this point in the spanking process, so he does. I bent over and grabbed a pillow to support my chest as I lay over his leg.<br />
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He spanked with his hand first, maybe 30 or so soft spanks. The spanks did not hurt much. I didn't make a sound.<br />
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Then, he stopped and rubbed my bottom. I whimpered a bit and my heart beat faster as I sensed he was picking up the paddle. He spanked about 30 or so swats, one cheek at a time. They were firm paddle spanks, but nothing really painful. He mostly spanked on alternating cheeks, but occasionally followed one spank with another on the same cheek. He stopped and rubbed my bottom. He asked if that was enough. I replied, "You have to decide that." Then, he gave me about 30 more in the same style. He rubbed my bottom again and said, "I think that is enough for tonight." I agreed at this point because the severity of each spanking is ultimately his decision. I had planned to say, "Is that all you got, Grandma?" as a tease to get a harder spanking, but that sentiment wasn't my in my heart at that point. The spanking was hard, so I couldn't really complain that the spanks were too light, but I also wanted more.<br />
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I did have one other complaint. He sometimes reached over beyond the ideal spot on my right cheek and hit a bit on the side of my hip. That hurts in a different way and just doesn't seem to achieve the desired purpose. I'd like him to strike squarely on each cheek, perpendicular to the line of my spine. I indicated that during the spanking, and he kept to the correct spot after that. Not only does striking my side hurt in the wrong way, if he spanks there for my right cheek, the optimal spot on the right misses out on the attention it needs.<br />
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Two sets of 30 each or so with the paddle seemed to stop short of what I wanted and needed. I'd like him to follow those two sets of 30 or so with a brief lecture and six to ten really fast, really hard spanks that would finally make me squirm and kick. He could say, "Ok, Jenn, now the real spanking starts. Get ready..." I want some really hard spanks that are completely overwhelming. I'd like to cry.<br />
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Afterwards, as we snuggled, I told him that I think he doesn't want to hurt me. He agreed. But I think he is slowly getting it. We are making good progress. I'd like to leap forward over all of these growing pangs, but I guess that's just not possible.<br />
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I know he wants to make me happy, but he doesn't realize yet that by spanking me hard and long he makes me happy.<br />
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(Btw, we had great sex after this spanking!!)<br />
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[Edited 02/17/2013 to improve wording.]<br />
<br />Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-32195813098227381712012-12-09T13:16:00.000-08:002013-01-28T22:09:42.584-08:00Does a Spanking Need a Reason and a Goal?At one point, I would have thought that a spanking did not need a reason. A spanking was swats on the bottom, case closed. But lately, my thoughts on what I will call "wife spanking" have changed. Let's say you're going to spank your wife (or girlfriend) for no particular reason. Perhaps it is for the erotic arousal of the you as the spanker or of the wife. What do you do? What implement to use? How many strokes? How long to continue? Should you continue until I protest verbally? Until she begs you to stop?<br />
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To answer each of these questions you need to answer the "master question", "Why is he spanking her?"<br />
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Notice I phrased that from the spanker's perspective. That is because the spanker is the one giving the spanking. He determines what to use and how long to continue. The spankee gives up all control over the spanking as soon as she consents to being spanked, both as a general agreement and by submitting to each spanking. Whether verbally or simply by physically presenting herself in the spanking position, she gives up all control except for emergency situations (e.g., breathing difficulties). It's all over for the spankee at that point.<br />
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But what should the spanker do? Give 3 swats? 10? 150? Without a purpose, there is no answer to this question.<br />
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Having said that, what could the purpose of the spanking be? Herein lies another problem. Let's see how this goes.<br />
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(1) Erotic. If the purpose is erotic, then it is easy. Spank slowly and with a soft to moderate stroke with your hands until her cheeks are pink. Take your time and stop to rub a bit to develop stronger erotic feelings in both of you. Erotic spankings may include implements, but these are normally the more moderate ones that are wielded with a gentler hand. Checking for arousal may be part of the routine, but is likely to be unnecessary after you get to know one another in the first few sessions.<br />
(2) In between. Let me set this goal aside for the time being....<br />
(3) Punishment. If the purpose is punishment, then she must be spanked a bit beyond when she feels she's had enough. This may be hard to gauge, but it is solely up to the spanker to look for signs and determine when she's been punished enough. Some say you should continue until she makes uncoordinated movements of her torso, legs, and hands - twisting, kicking, and reaching back. Others say when she is sincerely begging you to stop. you are almost at the point where she has been sufficiently punished. However, I say that the goal of a punishment spanking will vary with the crime. One curse word might mean a relatively light punishment spanking of about 10 strokes of the hairbrush or paddle, whereas texting and driving would deserve a severe spanking with either the cane or belt followed by the paddle. The light spanking may not be very exciting or make much of an impression on her, yet it may be enough to remind her to choose better words for a few days. Repeated offenses would earn a more severe spanking.<br />
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Is there really anything in between? Probably not anything different. All spankings probably fall somewhere on the Erotic to Punishment continuum and an "in between" spanking can be understood as a little less of one and a little more of the other for different people and different times. But the spanker and spankee must both know what the goal is, because there <i>is</i> a goal. It may just be that no one has stated the goal explicitly.<br />
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Having said that, what about these "maintenance spankings" that everyone talks about? To me, as most bloggers use the term "maintenance" is a small punishment spanking, like the bad language example above. Once a week he would spank for all the small things she could have done better, even if he does not list them or state directly that you are being spanked for all the small misdemeanors.<br />
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What about my preferred term, "Practice Spankings". Well, they are just that - practice, but the understood adjective is "punishment". Practice Spankings are almost always for punishment, because who in the heck needs to practice an erotic spanking? Way too easy. Whether a few swats, or a few hundred, if the goal is erotic, once you've given a few erotic spankings, you'll know that you know how to do it. After that, why play around with pretending to practice? Just give her an erotic spanking and enjoy the afteraffects.<br />
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What of "stress relief spankings"? As stress relief undoubtedly brings some measure of pleasure, a stress relief spanking is a form of Erotic Spanking. Why not?<br />
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One final note, purely "Erotic Spankings" have lost their appeal to me. They work, I do get aroused from smacks to my rear, but I no longer want spanks without a purpose. I like the purpose and the thrill of going over his knee for a punishment. I like the "out-of-control" aspect of "really getting it". I like looking at him afterwards and thinking, "This man just spanked me." I like that it reestablishes him as the leader and enforcer. It keeps me from overwhelming him. It keeps me from taking over the relationship. He's not a natural spanker (see earlier posts here), but I think he is starting to like it, perhaps for the same reasons. He had just never thought that spanking was the way to make the relationship something that he wanted it to be. He likes to be the leader. I like to have my say, but I know something is out-of-whack (no pun intended) when I am calling all the shots. He doesn't like it, but is too polite to say anything. I don't like it, but I feel bad enough without 'fessing up that I know my behavior is out-of-line. A good spanking is a way to reset us to what we both want. A small price to pay, if you ask me.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-87654165179910232022012-11-18T10:45:00.001-08:002012-12-09T13:50:26.331-08:00Two Days LaterTwo days after I wrote that post, on a Monday night, I asked for and received a birthday spanking. He used his hand, then the short cane. I suggested the cane because it is quiet. He dutifully gave me my age in hand spanks (less than 50). Then, he gave me the same number with the cane - and surprised me by continuing to about 70. The short cane when used OTK (actually, over the leg, leaning on the bed) doesn't hurt too much. It's not like getting the cane with him standing and using a full arm swing. The over the leg position only allows him to lift his arm and swing so much. It is stingy and does hurt, but it is quite manageable. I will say, I was satisfied and happy when it was over. I recall that I was starting to cry out a bit more, and he seems to stop when I do that. I'd like him to continue well beyond these natural protests, but he is not yet comfortable with that. We are making progress, though. I was quite turned on by the whole birthday spanking. Later, I remarked that I thought he would quit at my age (when he was spanking with the cane). He said he was expecting to do that, but he was enjoying it and wanted to continue. I think that is a great sign! He's becoming a spanko! Or, at least, a SPANKER! He is really a great guy!! I was very turned on by the spanking, and he certainly liked that.<br />
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Two days after my birthday spanking, we were at his place (where we have more privacy), spending our last night together for about five weeks. (He will be travelling for work until about Christmas.) Of course, he wanted to fool around, but it was getting late. I told him that I felt "the pressure is on" to get turned on quickly and have a great encounter. He understood how I might feel that way. Somehow I suggested that we could speed up the "turning on" part of making love if I got a spanking. He said, "We could do that." I agreed, and he took out the wooden paddle. I was willing, and a bit turned on that he would spank me with no warning or anticipation, but from the first spank, I was in such pain! I guess I was still feeling the aftereffects of the 70 cane strokes. (And, I was. For two days, I could feel the surface tenderness and deep soreness each time I sat down or touched my bottom.) After about 18 or so, I started to raise up my torso in pain after each swat, screaming out something like, "Ahhhh!". I guess I tolerated about 30 or so before my right foot started to come up and I cried out with each one. He could tell I was suffering, and he stopped and asked if that was enough. I said, "Yes!"<br />
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I'd prefer that he take me a bit farther, past the point that I'm starting to hope that he will stop. Instead of stopping and asking if that is enough, I wish he'd push my torso back towards the bed and give me five or six really hard ones, really fast. I'd scream, but I'd love it!!<br />
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I'll have to teach him how to put an "exclamation point" on a spanking.<br />
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<br />Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-7882154167450738472012-11-10T21:55:00.002-08:002012-11-10T21:55:39.488-08:00Making ProgressThis will be a short post. It is late.<br />
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What I have noticed in the past few spankings is that we are now developing our own spanking style. At first, I had an idea - from what I had read and my fantasies - of what I wanted him to say and to do. I thought that would save us the dreadful part of the learning curve where mistakes and regrets are made. But now I've learned that we have to do this <i>our </i>way and learn what is important to us. So from the start he has developed a ritual of telling me to "assume the position", which I didn't like at first because I associate that with boys being paddled (impersonally) at school. I prefer "Come here, bend over". But "assume the position" seems to make this more pleasant and a bit more fun for him. Also, warmups are now at his discretion, as are the order and number of strokes with each implement. At first I thought it had to be hand warmup, paddle, then cane, but he seems to prefer to do a warmup only sometimes, followed by the cane, then several sets with the paddle. Until this causes problems for <i>us</i>, I will let him proceed as he likes. After all, I want him to like this, and I like it so far.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-35044504243494808542012-10-22T20:22:00.001-07:002012-12-09T13:51:54.612-08:00Great...hard...hurtWell, in a word, it was "great"!! It was also "hard" and it "hurt". Ok, enough of that silliness. He started out with a hand warm-up, and then pulled out the wooden paddle. I've had it before, but he never really swung it hard enough. This time he started out hard. From the first spank I was hurting. At the end of the first set (about 30??), he gave me one that made me really cry out in pain and lift my left leg. He stopped for a bit of rubbing and then started up again. I was a little disappointed that he spanked more softly for this second set. Then he stopped, rubbed, and asked if that was enough. I told him to do a few more, but harder and faster. This last set of about ten or so were about as hard as that first set and just a little bit faster. None caused a reaction like that last spank in the first set.<br />
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He didn't lecture, which I would have liked. But it was nice. I thanked him afterwards.<br />
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It's too bad the effect is so temporary. We played in bed a while. I told him that spanking doesn't have to lead to sex, but then I mentioned the spanking - oral sex connection. He liked that idea a lot! I felt my warm buns once or twice, but other than that the effect was fleeting. By the evening, there were no lingering effects at all.<br />
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The good news is that he's getting better!Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-303151723410110922012-10-21T10:45:00.003-07:002012-12-09T13:55:24.942-08:00I'm Going to be Spanked TodayLately I've been asking for more spankings, and he has agreed to do more. I have also requested that at least at times, the spanking is "for a reason". Otherwise, for me, it is just so much ass slapping.<br />
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Last night, M and I were talking in bed about our plans for today. I mentioned that he might want to spank me. I was thinking it would be a "reminder" or "practice" spanking. I prefer those words to "maintenance". I like to think that these sort-of-weekly spankings are to remind me that I can be spanked if I get out of line and try to take control of the relationship. These routine spankings for him to practice how to spank me and for me to learn how to take a spanking with grace and dignity.<br />
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When I suggested a spanking, he said, "Yes, you were very sassy in the kitchen tonight." How exciting! He wanted to spank me for being sassy!! Let me tell you what happened...<br />
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Yesterday, M was helping me cook a chicken stew. He is just learning to cook, so he has some silly ways of doing things, like peeling an onion. He tries to take off each paper-thin peeling, one at at time. As a teen, my mother taught me to remove the skin by cutting almost all the way across the top and bottom of the onion and ripping off a section. Then, take off one good layer and all of the peelings at once. When I noticed what he was doing, I made some disparaging remarks and grabbed the knife from him and tried to apply my method, also known as "the right way". He went along and didn't say anything at the time. But he must have been stewing over it all night (no pun intended!).<br />
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So, I'm excited that I will get a spanking this afternoon for being disrespectful. It would have been ok to be spanked for this anytime last night. If he had said something at the time, he could have spanked me while the stew was simmering. But it's ok to wait a little while, too. I've been thinking about it this morning, and I like the idea that he is going to try to take me in hand and give me a good cane and wooden paddle spanking for my actions. Eventually, I'd like him to spank hard enough that I start to cry. (Hasn't happened yet, but we are getting there.) As I mentioned above, I have a tendency to sort of take over. For him to remain somewhat in charge, he will have to spank me fairly often, perhaps about once a week. I can tell that he doesn't really like it, but he does it for me and for the relationship.<br />
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To be honest, though, it's all just an illusion - I am still in charge. ;)Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-58065698012297138002012-08-15T19:28:00.002-07:002012-12-09T13:59:56.507-08:00Why Spanking Fantasies?One aspect of spanking that is not explained by Opponent-Process Theory is having fantasies of being spanked before having any experience with erotic spanking - or any other type of spanking, for that matter. Why would I have had spanking fantasies as a college student? I had only ever had the rare swat on the rear for being too loud in the house.<br />
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I remember picking up a book in the college bookstore, reading a random page or two, and being aroused by stories of activities much more extreme than spanking. The book was apparently assigned reading for a sociology class. I think the description was of bondage of some sort. Perhaps there was some mild BDSM, too. I just don't remember. Not long after that, browsing at Walden Books, I discovered Nancy Friday's books of women's fantasies. While the rape fantasies did nothing for me, those that mentioned spanking were dog-eared and underlined. Why? I definitely think the feelings of (safe) loss of control and being overwhelmed are part of that thrill. There is something to the repetitive and unrelenting nature of a spanking that is very similar to .... well, I'll let you figure that out! So, being commanded to bend over and then have that pounding, pounding, pounding - with a little imaginary sting each time is pretty exciting.<br />
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That is the fantasy world. If a <i>real </i>spanking were just pain and misery, a woman would ask for or agree to <i>one</i>, have a terrible experience and then never agree to another spanking. Certainly, this does happen to some women, depending on the experience provided by her spanker and her own mental state and perceptions. But, many, many more do it again and again. I believe they have nice afterfeelings even with the first spanking and develop the good aftereffects that Opponent-Process predicts if the spankings are just frequent enough - perhaps once a week or so? Most people seem to settle on some time period between four days and a week between "maintenance" spankings. Could that be the optimal time between experiences? Perhaps. Alas, I don't think we can really know, but maybe one day other research will give us an idea of optimal. Any volunteers??<br />
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In the meantime, "Keep on Spanking"!!<br />
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<br />Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-25475514355271980592012-08-14T19:25:00.002-07:002015-03-29T18:12:06.801-07:00Opponent-Process: Pleasure from PainThe idea of explaining a woman's desire for a spanking using the Opponent-Process Theory of pain and pleasure makes TTWD much more understandable. I've long thought that Opponent-Process might explain why someone would ask for a painful experience like this, but having read more about the application of the theory to other situations I am even more impressed with the elegance and simplicity of the explanation. It just fits everything so well.<br />
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Part of what amazes me is that the theory applies both to women who simply like to be spanked for erotic purposes (e.g., <a href="http://bottomsmarts.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Bonnie</a>) as well as those practicing "Domestic Discipline" (<a href="http://learningdd.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Clint</a> and <a href="http://knowingyourroles.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Chelsea</a>) and those who might be somewhere in between (<a href="http://findingsara.wordpress.com/category/true-stories/" target="_blank">Sara</a>). I know the "pure Dd" group will disagree, but Dd is simply a way to convince a man who is not a natural spanko to spank his wife or girlfriend. I first understood this when a man I was dating asked me to spank him for discipline. I was willing to do it - as a favor - but it would not turn me on. I see an "HOH" that way. He gets no thrill from spanking, but he wants to do this for his wife or girlfriend. The idea of spanking her for discipline makes the activity acceptable to him. The couple simply have a more well-developed backstory than most of us. That's fine. I like the idea of a little discipline, too, but I don't need to justify my enjoyment of a spanking as a way to have a "clean slate" after a disagreement. A spanking never solved much of anything, so if there were real problems to disagree about, spanking would just drive the issues underground. (I have seen posts from women who seem to be stuck in this downward spiral. If I find one, I will post. I try to forget these sad stories.) I will concede that some women need a little spanking every now and then to remember to treat their husbands or boyfriends with respect. I know a few I could nominate. And I could have used one yesterday! Lol.<br />
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I'm sure some will dismiss the Opponent-Process explanation as "just a theory", but note that Todd Becker writes, "Solomon’s theory [Opponent-Process] has been verified experimentally with animals and humans, and reflects a sophisticated understanding of the physiology of the nervous system." You will have to refer to his very well-written <a href="http://gettingstronger.org/2010/05/opponent-process-theory/" target="_blank">blog entry</a> for more detail. I could not do a better job. Kudos! The bottom line is that the theory <i>works </i>for so many behaviors and sensations.<br />
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I expect some push-back on this theory, as many people prefer mystery to an explanation. Seeing a spanking as a way to bring out endorphins in response to pain is not a radically new idea, either, but the theory is much more. It is fleshed out and comprehensive. Study Figures 4-7 on Becker's webpage. Disagree if you will, but all I ask is that you use a logical approach.<br />
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[As I may have noted elsewhere, I use "man" as the one with the paddle and "woman" as the one with the red bottom because that is how my life is organized. Sorry, but if your spankee is a man, you'll just have to do a find on "woman" and replace it with "man", "man" with "woman", and so on! I prefer not to use HoH because I can't stand to pronounce it "H-o-H" or to use the terms Dom and Sub, as that just doesn't feel like my life. To each his own.]Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-81050306339940480782012-08-13T20:30:00.002-07:002012-08-13T20:37:04.588-07:00A Spanking New Theory of SpankingI have spent a lot of time online looking for a blog post which will answer the question, "Why do I want to be spanked?" I have found posts where others try to explain what they enjoy about spanking. None seemed to fit me. So, not having found a suitable answer, I've decided to think carefully about this and see if I can come up with my own answer.<br />
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First, I decided that if I like spanking,I must like the <i>feeling </i>of being spanked.Well as one of my professors used to say, that's crazytalk! How could I like the feeling of pain as a paddle strikes my rear end? I definitely don't like that. The only satisfaction that comes as I am actually being spanked is from the accomplishment of remaining in place. More on that later.<br />
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Well, if I don't like the actual feeling of being spanked, I must like some <i>other </i>feelings associated with the spanking. So let's see, is it the anticipation of a spanking that I enjoy?<br />
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Actually, I think I do like that part. If I know I am getting a spanking after my bath, I get a little nervous and my heart beats a little faster. I am genuinely a little worried as to what I will be experiencing in the near future. It's sort of like those click, click, click moments as a rollercoaster approaches its peak. Just riding a car to the top of a track is in itself not a very scary experience, yet the adrenaline is flowing and my senses are a bit heightened. I can <i>definitely </i>say I like this part of a spanking!<br />
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Continuing the rollercoaster ride, the spanking itself is like careening down the tracks in a terrifying free-fall. You scream, you grab on to the bar for "safety", and your mind is overwhelmed with sensations from your eyes, ears, and stomach! If you could think logically, you would realize that the amusement park is not going to design a ride to kill you, but your brain reacts as though its survival is threatened. Your palms may sweat as your body's sympathetic nervous system runs in high gear. Although technically a spanking is not really dangerous to you in the long term, your body still interprets pain as a threat to its survival. So the spanks are interpreted as a form of danger to your nervous system. The spanks hurt, and you struggle to follow instructions and stay in position. You want to cry and you clutch a blanket or pillow. You screw your eyes shut, a typical reaction to unpleasant stimuli. Perhaps closing your eyes is a way to try to limit incoming stimulation. I don't think that I really like this part.<br />
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The time after the spanking is similar to the end of the ride as the coaster glides to a stop and the riders unload. I think everyone agrees that these moments after a spanking are the best part. I know that I have a wonderful sense of well-being at this point. And I transfer wonderful feeling to my partner. I love that he has taken me to this place. I appreciate him in so many ways. I lie beside him with my head on his shoulder, and he seems so wonderful, so strong, so attractive.<br />
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I have survived. It hurt. But I am ok now.<br />
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Actually - to the bigger question - I think this is why women enjoy spanking. There is that thrill that you have survived something dangerous, which psychologists explain as Opponent-Process Theory. Here's a good explanation at <a href="http://gettingstronger.org/2010/05/opponent-process-theory/" target="_blank">Opponent-Process Theory</a>. (Opponent-Process is a strange term, but think of it as "opposite process" theory.)<br />
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I have never been able to tolerate thrill-seeking activities such as rollercoaster rides, but I like exciting things like new ideas, so maybe a spanking is a way for me to stimulate my sympathetic nervous system with some excitement.<br />
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One final question - can I have this thrill, bonding, and sense of well-being every day? Right now I <i>want </i>it every day. But like many treats and thrills, perhaps it is better to keep them special by not having them so often. I suppose I would be satisfied with once or twice a week. But what other treat is so good for me and has absolutely NO fat and no calories?? I think this is better than ice cream!! :-)Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-67464376090251781762012-08-11T20:19:00.002-07:002012-12-09T14:09:38.095-08:00Why DD Works BetterMost people have three main rules for domestic discipline that involve dangerous, disrespectful, or disobedient behavior. Some question whether a woman needs a domestic discipline relationship in order to correct any behavior. Let's take dangerous behavior as an example today. One great example of an extremely dangerous behavior is texting while driving, or any touching of a cellphone while driving other than to simply answer an incoming call. In my state, texting while driving is certainly illegal, and I believe reading an email or - heaven forbid - writing an email would be illegal as well. After all, it doesn't matter which app you use. Touching and looking at a phone while driving is just plain dangerous.<br />
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Well, it is clear that a person who touches a phone while driving is trying to get away with something. I know this behavior is illegal, yet I have done it - even recently. Why would I do something that could kill me or earn me an expensive ticket? I do it because I can (usually) get away with it. So far I have ALWAYS gotten away with it. When I am tempted to use my phone while driving, there is only a small voice that says, "You really shouldn't do this....". Sometimes that voice wins out, but often my desire to do something with my phone wins out.<br />
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Should I text and drive? Here are the reasons against it:<br />
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(1) I might get in an accident. If today I text while driving and I don't get an accident, I got away with it! Whew! I was lucky - again - but I clearly got something for what seems to be nothing.<br />
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(2) I might get a ticket. But today I texted while driving and didn't get a ticket, so I got away with it! Yay!!<br />
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Those two main reasons apply to everyone. In this system, there very few real negative consequences to behavior. In fact, I've never been in an accident or gotten a ticket for texting while driving. What do you think that is teaching me??<br />
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Now, let's say I am in a Domestic Discipline relationship. There is an additional, very compelling reason for me to never, ever text while driving. Here it is:<br />
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(3) If today I texted while driving, I would be obligated to tell my boyfriend that I did it as soon as I speak to him. It doesn't matter whether he saw me or whether someone tells him (like a cop). I have to face him and tell him that I did something very dangerous. I am simply not going to get away with this. No matter what, I am going to get a spanking. How often will I break the "dangerous" rule if I get an intermediate or advanced spanking for doing it? (It could be any kind of serious spanking. These are just two well-defined examples. See the <a href="http://learningdd.blogspot.com/2011/06/punishment-6-advanced-level-spankings.html" target="_blank">LearningDD website</a> for descriptions.) I can't have a spanking like that every day, so I'm guessing that after one, I definitely would not do misbehave the next day. Or the day after that. I am thinking the effect would be fairly long-lasting. I think I would learn not to text while driving at all after only one or two serious spankings. Certainly, I wouldn't do it more than a few times a year. How could I? These spankings are truly excruciating.<br />
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If you think about it this way, you will see that Dd is a much safer and more consistent way to change a person's behavior than just "knowing" it is dangerous or having the threat of economic penalties (i.e., getting a ticket).<br />
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From talking to coworkers, it seems that as more socially connected creatures, women seem to be more tempted to text while driving then men are. Men certainly seem to look at their phones for less time. In any event, my next post will explain how Dd changes the man's behavior to make him less likely to text while driving.<br />
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(Note: I use men as the HoH and women as the one receiving the punishments because that's how my life is. If yours is different, you will have to change the pronouns and other references.)Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-85691093230988775472012-08-08T19:04:00.000-07:002012-12-09T14:02:18.683-08:00Three Spankings(1) Several times over the past month I've wanted to say, "If we have a little time this weekend, would you indulge <i>my </i>kink?", but I've always chickened out. Finally, on Monday, I decided to send my boyfriend, M, an email with some instructions on how to conduct a Beginner's Spanking. I sent it to him and waited. I could see him walk to the computer to check his account. I even saw him read it. He seemed a bit surprised and had to read it a couple of times. Finally, he turned to me and said, "I saw your email." That opened up the discussion. He said that he had no problem asking for what he wants, sexually, so I should have no trouble asking for a spanking. He asked if that took away some of the excitement. After 10 or 15 minutes of talk, he asked if I was ready to go to the bedroom. We did, and he spanked me rather lightly with the wood paddle. I think he did about 30 hand spanks and 22 paddle spanks.<br />
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(2) Last night, no warmup, 26 paddle strokes. I thought that might be all for the night, but instead he rubbed my bottom. At that point, I knew there would be more. It was exciting to realize that I was going to get another set! He paddled me 16 more times.<br />
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(3) Tonight, I asked for my spanking as soon as we came in from work. He agreed and I took off all of my clothes. He did a hand warmup with about 30 strokes, then about 25 paddle strokes, all harder than yesterday. After two days of spanking, tonight's spanking really hurt. Again, he stopped, rubbed, and said, "A little break...." so I knew there would be more. He then smacked me about 18 more times. I was starting to squirm in that set. I moaned loudly, too, and said, "Owwww...." Then, we hugged and had a little kiss and I threw on a dress so that we could go to the living room to watch the evening news on the DVR. I liked the feeling of a sore bottom as I reclined on my side on the sofa. Covering with a blanket held in the heat and made it sting more. Later, reheating leftovers for supper, my bottom hurt each time I leaned over the sink. It was a good feeling, though. Didn't hurt much to sit at the dinner table, but I had that good after-spanking feeling the whole time.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-63613589939997782582012-06-10T16:54:00.004-07:002012-06-10T16:54:57.856-07:00Back in the Paddle Again....Sorry for the long delay between posts. I know, I know. I should be spanked! I couldn't agree more! ;) I recall that I had an attack of conscience and realized that my new steady boyfriend, <b>M</b>, would not appreciate it if he found out that I was blogging about our most private activities. But, now, as we get back to more spanking adventures, I just want to share the progress that we have made. I hope others enjoy what I write and learn from our experiences (and potential misadventures).<br />
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To bring you up-to-date, here is a quick summary. <b>M </b>and I have had a loooong drought - no spankings since November. I noticed that I was the only one who ever brought up spankings; he never did. I don't think he read the electronic books that I gave him. I decided not to say anything and to just let the idea develop in his mind (and, I hoped, his actions). In April, he mentioned something about "a good spanking", in a teasing way. That was certainly a good sign! I guess that gave me encouragement. In bed recently, I reminded him that we could play with spankings. (He hasn't bought into the whole "Dd" scene yet.) He immediately located and retrieved the round leather paddle with the metal insert. He sat at the foot of the bed, and over his lap I went. I got a nice spanking. I encouraged him to go harder two or three times. It still was not hard enough to satisfy me - and he quits when it finally gets stingy - but I was glad that we are making progress.<br />
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He still thinks spanking is kinky, but I reminded him of activities that he likes that I think are just as kinky, if not more so.<br />
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Encouraged by the progress he is making, I ordered two new implements that intrigued me last weekend. I only told him that something would be coming in the mail. No hint as to what it would be. When it came in and I hesitated when he asked what it was, he guessed, "Something kinky?" I sheepishly answered, "Sort of...." I cut open the package but did not remove the contents. He had heard me opening the package and came back in the room. I let him look in the package. It was so embarrassing to have him see that I had ordered a thick wooden paddle for him to spank my bottom!! Luckily for me, he wasn't mortified. He picked up the paddle and pronounced it "serious", but said the cane looked like "nothing". I replied, "Oh, but the cane is the scariest thing. We talked about other subjects for a couple of minutes, and then I asked him to give it a try on my bottom. "Out here," I suggested. "I've always thought this would be a good spot," and I walked over to stand behind the oversized chair. I told him I'd have to take down my jeans because they have large buttons on the back pockets. I took them down but left my undies on. Then, I bent over the back of the chair and waited. I reminded him to hit in the fleshiest part of my bottom to avoid causing damage. Whack! Whack! He gave a couple of soft swats that did hurt more than I expected. Another one, Whack! i moaned a bit. Then a final WHACK. All on my left cheek. And that was it.<br />
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About a half hour later I checked in the restroom. The area where he had paddled me was pink in about a 5 inch diameter circle, but the center 2 or 3 inches was white. I worried that this might be a bruise forming. Later, I asked him to do a warmup on the other cheek and repeat the four swats with the paddle. He agreed, and we went into the bedroom. He took a position seated at the foot of the bed, but I suggested a position more similar to the one we used in the living room - with me standing and leaning on the bed. By this time, I had bathed and put on a nightie, so I didn't have any undies on. I told him that it might not be necessary as the white and pink had faded away. But we agreed that "for balance" he should spank the other side. He spanked me fairly lightly on the right cheek about 20 or 30 times with his hand, then he picked up the paddle. WHACK! "Damn!" <i>Oh, that hurts.!</i> WHACK! "Ow..." WHACK! "Ow..." WHACK! "That really hurts!" He joked that maybe he was getting the hang of it. I stood up. "Wow, that thing really hurts. It seems like the warmup made it hurt <i>more</i>. I don't know if I like this stuff! Let me put this thing away!" We had a hug, and he ended up putting the paddle on the dresser and walked away. I got in bed, on my burning bottom and wondered if I really like this spanking stuff or not. I mean, it <i>really</i> hurt!<br />
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That evening I had told <b>M</b> that I want to be spanked to the point that I don't like it, even to the point of crying. I don't think he understands this, but to his credit, he is willing to do it. I see all of this as a challenge. Is it erotic? The <i>idea </i>is an erotic thrill, but the reality is painful and not sexually exciting in the moment. So why do I want it? I think it is all for that moment after, when I think, "Oh, this man just paddled my bottom!" Now that is a thrill!<br />
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The hairbrush never got an "ow" out of me. The leather paddle was like a nice massage. But this is completely new. I think of it as a challenge. To be spanked until my bottom hurts and burns and I really don't like it. The wooden paddle is brutal! How could I take 20 of those paddle strokes (10 per cheek, with no warmup necessary), as Clint at '<a href="http://learningdd.blogspot.com/">http://learningdd.blogspot.com</a>' has suggested for a <i>Beginner </i>spanking?? <a href="http://learningdd.blogspot.com/2011/04/punishment-3-beginner-level-spankings.html">http://learningdd.blogspot.com/2011/04/punishment-3-beginner-level-spankings.html</a> What if <b>M</b> wants to give me an <i>Intermediate</i>, or - heaven forbid - an <i>Advanced </i>spanking??<br />
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I don't know, but now, two days later, I know I can't wait to find out!Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-63151591584799017582011-10-10T08:08:00.000-07:002012-12-09T14:04:43.306-08:00Figuring It All OutWell, over the past few weeks, we've had a few spankings. Which is to say, <i>I</i> have had a few spankings. One week I forgot to take my daily medicine before noon on Sunday, which meant that I had to have a little spanking that night. Then, on Tuesday, I forgot to take the medicine before going to work. That meant that it was 5 pm before I could take it. Missing the medicine twice within a week generally means a disobedience spanking, too. We were busy that week, so I didn't get that spanking until a few days later. Before we were together for that spanking (we live in towns that are 30 minutes apart), I sent him some guidelines that I adapted from some posts I had read online. Our spankings had taken on too much of a purely "foreplay" atmosphere, which is ok, but not quite enough for me. He was usually half-dressed, and he often suggested a spanking after some erotic kissing. Here's what I sent him:
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I think we need to fine-tune our spanking practice in order to increase the emotional affect on me. These ideas come from some things I read online. First, you should be dressed. Second, I should be mostly dressed, with only the "key area" exposed. Third, we should try "corner time". I'm not sure how that will feel as I've never done it, but I think being told to "go stand in the corner until I tell you to come back" might be pretty powerful. Maybe the whole scene could start with me going to the bedroom alone to wait, too. Fourth, as we are starting, you should ask me, "Do you know why you are being spanked?" (Of course, the answer is more than a simple "yes".) Then, "Is there any reason you know of why I should not spank you?" (Man, that is a tough one to hear!!) Having to answer' "No".... and then, "Well, then, let's get started. Stay still ...." Gosh....
What do you think of these ideas? (It's all up for discussion. This is not just about me.)</blockquote>
It is nice to be able to email this sort of thing to him. If I said these things, I would have a hard time being so direct. Instead, I wrote up this email, took a deep breath, and hit 'Send'. It was out of my hand after pressing that button.
He agreed to try to do these things, but admitted he may forget one or two, especcially at first.
We had only that one spanking since I sent that email. It was a bit more like I wanted it. I had just given him a round leather paddle with a steel reinforcing bar embedded within. He used that, and let me tell you, it hurt!! I had tried it out with three smacks when I received it and I immediately had second thoughts about giving it to him! The spanking wasn't really that bad and was actually quite exciting.
We are now at the beach for a Columbus Day vacation. He brought the paddle and joked about using it, but so far he hasn't. I've not messed up in any way which would earn me a spanking, but he hasn't even suggested that we do our weekly 'practice'. I am a little disappointed, but I am not going to ask or otherwise remind him. He knows he has the paddle, he knows I sort of want it, and it is up to him to decide when and where to use it. He may be concerned about thin walls in the hotel, but I say, "Damn the other guests, full speed ahead!" Oh well, I'll let you know if I get lucky before we leave in a few hours.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402639389495279177.post-43681615395172425832011-09-26T21:19:00.001-07:002011-09-26T21:19:52.451-07:00Yet Another Blog About ... Spanking!It seems like there is a new blog about spanking every day. Maybe several new spanking blogs every day. I never thought I'd have one, but it seems that I might have something interesting to say. I am in a brand-new relationship, and it is the first time I have seriously tried to inject a little spanking into the coule dynamic. I hesitated to bring up the subject so early, but then again, I didn't want to be a year into it before I mentioned my spanking desires.
I don't want to pretend to do "domestic discipline". I like the discipline aspect of spanking, but I am almost exclusively interested in spanking. I don't want to be grounded or made to write lines. I want to live out dominance and submission physically as a means of communication between two partners. This is about US. Not about ME.
After only about 4 or 5 dates and one sort of intimate encounter, I told him about the thrill that I get from being spanked. Mostly it was the idea of being spanked, as I only had limited real-life experience. So far I have had about 10 spankings - most with his hand and my wooden hairbrush. They are all good but mostly too light. He seems to hesitate when I protest verbally, even just a little "oohhh". We will get past this eventually. I am definitely thinking long-term here! He is a smart guy, and willing to try almost anything I like, so I think we will get it right eventually.
I'd be glad to hear from others who have been down this road before. Did you let your partner know about your interest in the first weeks of the relationship? How did that work out? Or, did you wait? How did you get him to ramp it up a bit. (I've already told him that he is at about 60% of where I think we will eventually be.)Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08975662606546664614noreply@blogger.com3